I love people. I really do. Why else would I major in Behavioral Science? I am always shocked & amazed by people's actions (or inaction!) and reactions. So I have to wonder, when did we (we as a people) decide not to be polite...to toss manners out the dirty window?
Being that I live so close to New York City, people just take it in stride that everyone is rude. It was never more apparent to me than when I moved back to NY after living in TN for 3 years. Crossing the George Washington Bridge into the city I noticed the noise for the first time in my life! The cacophony of blaring horns, truck engines, people yelling at each other, and the consistent hum of the city itself do a number on one's ears. But that doesn't explain why people are rude. That only illustrates some of the rudeness.
What I'm talking about is the general daily things people do or say to each other. For instance, when did a pregnant woman's belly become public property? What thought pops into a person's head that says it is OK to rub a stranger's body? And what do they - the rubbers - hope to get from this experience? I think this is a fairly new phenomenon. I just can't picture Victorian era people popping the bubble of personal space to rub a strange belly. Although pregnant women were probably secluded in some basement room in the house & only allowed to come out to use the bathroom.
I haven't experienced the pregnant belly laying on of hands thing, but I have personally experienced another oddity of people. The trying-to-be-politically-correct question, "So have you always been...well...um...big?" What kind of question is that? The best answer I have found to answer this is, "What do you mean? I'm big?" Thus putting the random ball back into their bizarre court.
OK - so everyone knows I'm on this new dieting/changing life routines kick. Fine. But it doesn't just end there. Every single day, people ask me how it's going! How much have you lost? Are you exercising? And then the winner, Have you always been big? You know they want to say: Were you fat your entire life or where you thin at one point & chose to get fat? That's really what they are asking! And really - how rude?! It's like asking, Have you always had that...what is it, a mole...on your face? Or even, Have you always had that overbite?
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Welcome to my Transformation Journey
So here's the deal: I turned 36 years old and realized that I am living the life of a 70 year old, overweight spinster. I was hiding from life. Why? Because I HATE how I look. I was feeling fat and ugly. I felt everyone who looked at me was thinking, "Eeeiiiww - look at that girl - she's hideous! I hope she has a good personality!"
Up until a couple years ago I was always busy. I went out with friends all the time - to movies, bars, concerts, etc. And then in November of 2008, I was laid off from a major job (as the Manager of Examinations at Harvard University) and entered a major depression. I gained more weight and stopped doing everything. I have been holed up in my room with food as my only friend.
Until NOW!
I have to thank Dr. Oz for the kick in the ass I needed to get back on track. Well, I have a lot of other people to thank - but they don't have the million dollars dangling in front of me! Dr. Oz announced Transformation Nation with someone winning $1,000,000 in April 2012. It's not only about weight loss, but living a healthy lifestyle. It was what I needed to hear to take the first step into my new life.
So why blog about this? A wise woman told me that you cannot change your life in a vacuum. Meaning that I can't do this alone from the comfort of my bedroom. I have to get out there and I have to have help. I KNOW there are tons of women (and men) in similar situations - so let's help support each other on this transforming journey! Whether it's losing weight, getting out of the house, making new friends, or getting off of Facebook for a little while, let's be there for each other.
I am going to put it all out there: my weight, measurements, pictures. I also want to post things that will be helpful to everyone: healthy recipes, stress-relievers, and items that I find work for me. And I want the same from you, my followers. Feel free to comment and share your stories from your transforming journey!
So let's DO THIS!
Up until a couple years ago I was always busy. I went out with friends all the time - to movies, bars, concerts, etc. And then in November of 2008, I was laid off from a major job (as the Manager of Examinations at Harvard University) and entered a major depression. I gained more weight and stopped doing everything. I have been holed up in my room with food as my only friend.
Until NOW!
I have to thank Dr. Oz for the kick in the ass I needed to get back on track. Well, I have a lot of other people to thank - but they don't have the million dollars dangling in front of me! Dr. Oz announced Transformation Nation with someone winning $1,000,000 in April 2012. It's not only about weight loss, but living a healthy lifestyle. It was what I needed to hear to take the first step into my new life.
So why blog about this? A wise woman told me that you cannot change your life in a vacuum. Meaning that I can't do this alone from the comfort of my bedroom. I have to get out there and I have to have help. I KNOW there are tons of women (and men) in similar situations - so let's help support each other on this transforming journey! Whether it's losing weight, getting out of the house, making new friends, or getting off of Facebook for a little while, let's be there for each other.
I am going to put it all out there: my weight, measurements, pictures. I also want to post things that will be helpful to everyone: healthy recipes, stress-relievers, and items that I find work for me. And I want the same from you, my followers. Feel free to comment and share your stories from your transforming journey!
So let's DO THIS!
Big Girls Don't Do Yoga
Have you ever tried to relax? I mean really relax. Taking deep breaths, meditating on quietness, emptying your mind kind of relaxing. It's hard to do. Especially when life includes iPods, cell phones, blackberries and all sorts of other electronic devices beeping at us from all sides.
My idea of relieving stress, especially once I'm already stressed-out, is throwing and breaking things. I've been known to wipe out a knick-knack shelve in under 5 minutes! But then I feel a little better. So why would people think calmly breathing in a room full of calmly breathing strangers help me?? But still, it's something that might help me - so I gave it a shot.
I signed up for a free yoga group and talked myself into going. I made it into the yoga room and froze. In front of me stood 20 clones of the same woman in various stages of stretching. I thought there was some weird mirror thing going on; I saw no differences in these women! They were all 5 feet 7 inches or taller, wearing similar colors of the same tanktop, slightly loose yoga pants (I didn't even know there was such a thing as yoga pants!), same tight pony/bun in their blonde to brunette with blonde highlighted hair, with all the same build - slim to skinny. These were no ordinary women - they were yoga-women! What did I walk into - Barbie's Stretch & Tone Studio?!
That's when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror - all 5 feet 3 inches, 200+ pounds of me! I have never felt shorter or fatter in my entire life! I wore my typical work-out attire: baggy black sweat pants, a very large T-shirt that I usually wear to bed as a nightgown, and the Dr. Scholls walking sneakers with gel soles that I spent a lot of money on to only wear the few times I work out. My chestnut hair is pulled back into a ponytail, but tons of whisps stick out all over. I didn't care about any of that 10 minutes ago! Now, I might as well have been standing there naked!
Then it began - the yoga-ing. That's when it finally hit me: big girls, like me, don't do yoga!
My idea of relieving stress, especially once I'm already stressed-out, is throwing and breaking things. I've been known to wipe out a knick-knack shelve in under 5 minutes! But then I feel a little better. So why would people think calmly breathing in a room full of calmly breathing strangers help me?? But still, it's something that might help me - so I gave it a shot.
I signed up for a free yoga group and talked myself into going. I made it into the yoga room and froze. In front of me stood 20 clones of the same woman in various stages of stretching. I thought there was some weird mirror thing going on; I saw no differences in these women! They were all 5 feet 7 inches or taller, wearing similar colors of the same tanktop, slightly loose yoga pants (I didn't even know there was such a thing as yoga pants!), same tight pony/bun in their blonde to brunette with blonde highlighted hair, with all the same build - slim to skinny. These were no ordinary women - they were yoga-women! What did I walk into - Barbie's Stretch & Tone Studio?!
That's when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror - all 5 feet 3 inches, 200+ pounds of me! I have never felt shorter or fatter in my entire life! I wore my typical work-out attire: baggy black sweat pants, a very large T-shirt that I usually wear to bed as a nightgown, and the Dr. Scholls walking sneakers with gel soles that I spent a lot of money on to only wear the few times I work out. My chestnut hair is pulled back into a ponytail, but tons of whisps stick out all over. I didn't care about any of that 10 minutes ago! Now, I might as well have been standing there naked!
Then it began - the yoga-ing. That's when it finally hit me: big girls, like me, don't do yoga!
Taking the Plunge
I finally succumbed to it - the pull of electronic journaling. I've been thinking about it for a couple months now. Do I really want to put my life out there for random people to read & dissect? Do I want to open my life up to anonymous, voyeuristic wanderings of others? Apparently I do.
I will come here daily to write out my thoughts, essays, poems, issues, meanderings and other musings regarding weight loss and my transforming journey. Turning 36 years old has given me a new outlook on life. I am finally going to be open and honest about my weight issues. We all have them - I'm gonna throw the door off the closet and talk about them! Along the way, I hope to meet others on similar journeys and include them here.
So, here we go...welcome to my life.
I will come here daily to write out my thoughts, essays, poems, issues, meanderings and other musings regarding weight loss and my transforming journey. Turning 36 years old has given me a new outlook on life. I am finally going to be open and honest about my weight issues. We all have them - I'm gonna throw the door off the closet and talk about them! Along the way, I hope to meet others on similar journeys and include them here.
So, here we go...welcome to my life.
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